


Unexpected Comebacks

by garrisonbabe



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-03 16:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garrisonbabe/pseuds/garrisonbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard and Garrus are busy in combat sniping mercs and each other with sardonic comments, when Thane suddenly silences them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpected Comebacks

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the characters herein, they are property of BioWare.  
> Came from a post on tumblr with [Sidnnay](http://sidnnay.tumblr.com) where we redefined the term brossassin for a moment. Let me know what you think ;)

Garrus pulled the trigger of the widow and watched in delight as a Batarian merc’s head exploded in the scope’s view. He really did love that rifle. As he turned his head to tell Shepard she jumped over cover and used a biotic reave (a nasty trick she learned from Samara) to topple the other four while she loaded them with a full clip. By the time the reave wore off they were already dead.

Thane was slightly ahead of Garrus, using throw to keep mercs off Risa’s back. Every once in a while a mech would get daring and Garrus would use overload to take it out. One mech exploded a little too close for Risa’s comfort and she yelled over the comm as Garrus kept shooting.

“Vakarian! Do I need to get you a higher magnification on that visor or are you trying to kill me? Jackass!” Shepard sounded entirely sarcastic and just a little angry.

“Well, Shepard, I’ve told you before that you should let the big boys take care of things if you don’t want to get shot. It’s not my fault if you don’t listen.” When she turned around on the battlefield he almost thought she was going to take his shields out.

Thane sat quietly, listening to the exchange and taking out mercs as they ventured toward them. Garrus and Shepard always did have enjoyable banter; they somehow fed off of each other with all the quick jabs and snipes. He couldn’t think of two other people who were more sardonic and more effective together.

“Right, the big boys, you mean like that Krogan I killed before he managed to rip off your brow plate? Vakarian, you may have a brass pair but I have a quad.”

“Well, that explains all of the aggression, and the way you stuff your face when you think no one is looking.” Garrus ducked out of the way as Shepard threw a merc behind him. Though he didn’t quite know if she was aiming for him or the merc initially.

Shepard scoffed and fired off three more shots and ran back into cover, ducking next to Garrus while she reloaded. “Yeah, if we’re talking about Krogan behavior then you are the king!”

Garrus raised one brow plate and sniped another merc. “How do you figure?”

“You’re obnoxious, loud, barely have tact and have a romantic attachment to your guns.” Garrus took another shot and ducked to reload, trying to hide how much he was laughing.

“Have the two of you considered couples counseling? It seems as though there is a great amount of pent up aggression that needs to be worked out.” Thane said it so coolly that Shepard and Garrus didn’t notice for almost a minute.

However, when they did they both stopped and looked at him with wide eyes and jaws agape. He cleared the last two mercs from the battle field and looked to them, his face as stoic as usual. But Risa could see the twinge of mischief in his eyes, especially as one brow ridge was raised before he headed toward their destination.

“Shepard, I’m saying this as a friend, if you don’t marry him I’m going to get you to a psychologist. I think he just outdid you.” Garrus reloaded before heading out after Thane.

Risa hopped up and coughed, trying to seem casual and nonchalant. She brushed her armor off and reloaded all of her weapons. Joker’s snickering was clear over the comm and she couldn’t even be angry at it. Life wasn’t always easy, but laughter went a long way to making it bearable.


End file.
